As much as all brides refer to magazines for advice on everything from dresses to etiquette, the magazines don’t always get it right. I was just reading a quiz in one of them and the question asked was what do you do when 20 invitees do not send back their response cards? The answer rightfully stated the invitees should be called to verify attendance or not. However, it suggested that the bride’s mother be the lucky one to make the phone calls. Unfortunately, this is incorrect according to etiquette and common sense.
While you definitely want to verify attendance so you know how many steak dinners you need to pay for, it is awkward for a guest to tell the bride or her parents an honest no if they do not intend on coming. Save yourself a little heartache and delegate this to those who guests would not find it as awkward to be honest with. If you can, please ask a bridesmaid or your wedding planner to make these calls for you. The calling party can simply say something to the effect of we’ve had some guests that did not receive their invitation and wanted to make sure you had received yours? Will you be attending? If they hesitate, politely let them know a correct headcount is needed for the caterer. The lost invitation line gives them an out for not responding on time and the caterer information lets them know it’s an important request.