As much as we love planning weddings, we understand the big day is not nearly as important as the relationship formalized in the wedding ceremony. It is key to make sure your relationship is healthy and that the communication lines are open. Before you get married, set some rules and boundaries together as a couple. Barbara Bartlein, M.S.W., author of Why did I Marry You Anyway? suggests a list of rules to write down. Every relationship is different so feel free to add any rules you both can agree on.
- We agree not to raise our voice when we’re upset with each other.
- We will try to say one positive comment to each other every day.
- We will agree not to go to bed angry.
- We will make efforts to connect every day.
- Neither of us will storm out during an argument.
- We will not make disparaging comments about the other’s friends or families.
- We will believe each other and give the benefit of the doubt.
- We will keep our marriage the top priority in our lives.
- We will apologize to each other, even when we think we did nothing wrong!
Bartlein notes, “engaged couples should spend at least as much time working on their relationship a they do on wedding planning.” We couldn’t agree more! During the wedding planning process, pick a day during the week that you are not allowed to discuss wedding plans. Use that day to just truly enjoy each other without all the stress of planning your special day. Your marriage will be stronger for it!
photo by Paul Ernest Photography