So many times the first consultation I have with a bride, alone without her fiancee or mother or any other key players, this is the first question I get. She is so frustrated about how long it takes, how many phone calls she’s made with no progress, how many times she’s asked about decisions she’s made or has not made, how conversations with family or friends has made her so angry or hurt, she just bursts into tears sitting with me and saying how she promised she wouldn’t cry.
Ladies, it’s all right to cry! Your wedding is probably the only moment in your life when so many hot buttons get pushed. Think about it. What moment in your life do you know touches all the “taboo” subjects of money, religion, family relationships (the good, the bad and the ugly) and even sex. All of these areas are hit on in the planning process, whether you want to or not, and it gets added into the pressure cooker of being expected to plan the biggest moment of your life, on your own most of the time, and somehow manage to do it perfectly when you have never planned anything this intricate before and there is no way to practice! It’s all trial and error. Plus, you are expected to handle all of this while doing whatever it is you normally do, such as going to school, working full or part time, or even being a stay-at-home mom. Who in their right mind wouldn’t break down and cry at some point?
If there is one thing I could do for every bride, it is to let them know that they are not crazy and that they have every right to “break down” a little and if I could, I’d be there for them to give them a hug and a tissue and tell them it’s going to be ok. Because really, it will be ok. Weddings always tend to work themselves out, as long as you have patience and can let go of the idea of perfection. No wedding is perfect, it does not matter whose wedding it is. They always come extremely close, but I guarantee you there is always something that happens, whether little or large, and whether you even know about it (good vendors can hide these things), but I promise you there is no such thing as perfection. Please have patience with yourselves and others! You will get through it!
Oh, and if nothing else, you can come see me for a shoulder to cry on!